Accepting the change of seasons is one thing, accepting personal change with grace is quite another. I’ve been visiting my mother who is a 105 – soon to be 106. Time is short for her and the family is grateful for the long time we have had. We are working together to face the inevitable.
Being no stranger to loss, I want to handle this rite of passage with grace, as much for those who will have a hard time with it, as for myself. I realize it’s a mindset that affects attitude, feelings and ultimately your coping behavior.
Here are some observations on what it takes to accept change with grace.
GRACE IS FINDING THE HERO WITHIN
Dealing with health issues, aging and death is not for the weak. People older than me have warned about this and now I see the truth. It takes courage to address the ordeals of health care and uncertain outcomes. You will find it when you need it is what I’m observing from the heroes I know who have dealt with difficult times.
DIGNITY IS NOT OLDFASHIONED
We usually reserve the word dignity for an older generation and yet here it is showing up in friends of all ages as they grapple with tough issues. It is a gift to be able to move forward with dignity – the grace that acceptance embodies. It’s possibly the hardest thing we’ll do in our lives.
MANAGING NEGATIVE FEELINGS IS A LIFELONG TASK
While we favor positive expressions of feelings to say how we’re doing, it’s learning to manage the difficult negative ones that’s the real task. Maturity and acceptance of change requires learning to cope with what’s unwanted and the hard feelings that go with it. That’s where grace comes in.
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE IS AN ACT OF GRACE
The AA prayer “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” is at the heart of radical acceptance. The death of aging loved ones is one of those things. I have made peace with the inevitable and that acceptance feels like grace.
Does this affect you? Let me know if you’d like to explore it.
