I’
m excited to be presenting a workshop on this topic at the International Transformational Coaching Summit this week. In my couching and counseling practice, it is my goal and challenge to help people claim their wisdom so they can solve their own problems. How can I help them do that?
For most people, wisdom seems to be the pearls that are born out of difficulties. Like the grain of sand in the oyster, over time the constant turning of the experience in our mind produces a jewel of new awareness. It is from the other side of hardship that we often find the lessons in our trials.
But honestly, I believe we don’t have to suffer so much to get to our truth. There is an easier way.
And what about those problems that keep recycling? You know the ones where you say, “Oh, here we go again – now I’m about to feel…. victimized, hurt, poor, overwhelmed, confused, alone, unjustly treated” … you fill in the blank. How can we get to the root of them?
I’d like to take you through a series of exercises that I developed which illuminate unhealthy patterns and enable you to step into your power and wisdom. Once you have that experience, it is easier to discern when you’re off track and reclaim your natural state of health.
I invite you to go through these 5 steps – find your wisdom and discover the gifts of your soul’s knowledge.
STEP ONE – Make a Time Line
If you were to toss a coin for each event in your life, you might claim it as heads or tails. If you make a time line of your life, you will undoubtedly think of both the good and bad things that have happened to you The tendency is to polarize life experiences as “The best ever” or “The most horrible”. But rarely are situations clearly black or white. We are just trained to think in polarities.
On your time line, divide it into 4 chapters and note the good things above the line and the bad things below the line.
STEP TWO – Find the Patterns
When you look over your time line, what do you notice? What are the patterns of good and bad? Do you notice polarities? They are the events, feelings and behaviors that are the opposite of each other, on a continuum of negative to positive.
There are common patterns that people often experience like: loneliness vs love, fear vs. confidence, poverty vs. abundance, struggle vs. flow. failure vs. success. Often on the negative end of the continuum, we think it defines us and that it’s opposite is illusive. But the solution usually lays on the positive end.
What struggles do you discover in your life line? These are often our life lessons.
STEP THREE – Experience the extreme contrast
Pick a pattern that is something you are currently working through, like feeling lonely and wanting more love or feeling poor and wanting more abundance. To understand the rollercoaster these polarities create in your mind, feelings and behavior, I invite you to try the following experiment:
Imagine a line on the floor – one end is negative and the other end is positive. Using the poor vs. abundance example, start at the negative end, and remember the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that “poor” creates for you. Stand in those thoughts (I’ll always be poor.) and feelings (I’m not good enough.) until you have a clear sense of Its impact (I can’t go after what I want.). Identify all the ways you hold yourself back because of that state of mind. (There is no point in going after things I can’t have.)
When you are in that state of mind, you are longing for the contrast. So go to the other end and imagine your life as abundant. Notice how your thought and feelings change ((Life is full of awe, I feel joy and delight.) and all the behaviors this state of mind creates (I can have anything I want.). Stand in that contrasting thought/feeling state until you fully experience its power. Memorize its wonderful energy.
This is the roller coaster that we experience when we go from one extreme to another – staying at one end, longing for the other, experiencing it briefly and then falling right back down again.
STEP FOUR – Find the Wisdom Perspective
Things are rarely black and white. There is a middle view that synthesizes the experience. Back to the coin analogy, the edge of the coin is the truth that binds the two perspectives.
If we are to stand above and view those same experiences from the point of neutrality, we can find the truth that reflects your wisdom. I call this the Wisdom Perspective. Here’s how you get to it:
Go to the middle of your line – this is the point of neutrality. Walk straight up from the line to create a triangle. From this higher vantage point, look at the pattern of thought, feeling and behavior you experience in your polarity pattern.
What do you notice? Taking the lonely vs. love example, can you see how your thoughts (I’ll never find love.) affect your feelings (sad, lonely and insecure) and then your behavior (act unworthy, stay on the sidelines). You often are creating the very situation that you long to get out of. When you are on the positive end (in love and full of joy), do you worry about losing it and set yourself up to fall right back down?
What is your truth – what does your soul know? The wisdom perspective tells us we are all lovable and meant to have abundance. The pattern of lack often comes from the cycle of our own thoughts, feelings and behavior.
STEP FIVE – Choose What You Want To Be
Here is the most important part: You can choose where you want to be on the continuum. Feeling trapped is an illusion. From your point of neutrality, pick where you want to stand on the continuum between good and bad– this is your “set point”. Surely you picked a spot near the positive end. Go stand there and memorize the good thoughts, feelings and behavior being in this wonderful place of abundance or love has to offer you.
Whenever you feel yourself slipping, you can dial yourself back up and get back into that more positive place. Practice those better feeling thoughts, change your feelings and engage in the behavior that are associated with them. Even if you have to “fake it, til you make it” (the AA slogan) you will automatically be placing yourself in a better place.
By practicing these 5 steps, you can illuminate and eliminate the roller coaster cycle through difficult patterns that leave you lacking in life. You are innately wise, you can tap into this wisdom and claim the joy and abundance life has to offer.
If any of this speaks to you, I’d love to help you explore it for yourself. It is exhilarating to discover the positive potential your life has to offer. Once you’ve had the experience, it is much easier to move forward to claim your dreams. You can learn more on my websitewww.spectrumtransformation.com and request a free consultation to discuss how this would work for you. I look forward to hearing from you!
