You get to choose the people you are around. It can be a game changer to fully appreciate that the people you select to be around can determine your quality of life. Let that idea sink in.
We took a vacation with a group of 11 people for a destiny birthday celebration. It could have been a recipe for disaster, since several were meeting for the first time. But because the people had shared values, a desire to relate and took interest in one another, it became an adventure and joyous opportunity.
Here are some thoughts on how being selective about your relationships pays off.
SHARED VALUES
I have long guided people to be selective in their relationships, especially romantic ones, as those choices determine your life satisfaction and happiness. It’s equally true for your friendships. Having shared values makes a huge difference in being comfortable, genuine and relaxed with those around you. You don’t always have control over those in your work environment or even with your family, which is why it’s so important to curate your friendships.
KINDESS AND APPRECIATION RULES
I place a high value on kindness and appreciation – it plays out in every setting you are in. It shows up in how you respond to one another in little details, like recognizing one another’s needs, being empathetic and appreciative, giving a compliment, and in particular, how someone relates to others in a service capacity. There is nothing worse than entitled, rude, judgmental, demanding behavior toward you or others – have zero tolerance for that.
MUTUAL RESPECT
When you are with others you relate to easily, there is a mutual respect that develops and begins to color all your interactions. There’s shared humor, genuine interest, easy conversations, even comfortable silence. There is an ease and flow that works effortlessly. What is missing is the tension, biting comments, or worry about being accepted or fitting in. Life is too short for that. Let respect, kindness, appreciation and shared values be the criteria for your friendships.
Are you around people who embody these attributes? I hope so. Reach out if you’d like support for making a change.
