Providing support sounds so mundane as to seem insignificant. It’s not, its importance is often underrated until you need it. I’ve had several chapters in my life when support was sorely wanted, and I didn’t even know how to ask or receive. Now I know better.
I had a fall on the stairs recently, which prompted an instant smart watch alert with options to say you’re fine or make an emergency call. The pain was so intense it took minutes to push the call button. Lee answered – amazingly – with instant support. I have a friend who has had surgery and another with an agonizing death in her family. All these situations call for support.
Here are some of the important aspects of support.
YOU CAN ASK, BUT ASSUME IT’S NEEDED
There was a time in my life when being stoic was expected and modeled by my family. You weren’t supposed to indicate you had a need. I’ve learned how damagingly alone that leaves you. And how hurtful it is to a friend group who is denied a role of helpfulness. So now my friend who had surgery for a second time said yes to offers of help. She too had learned the first time around that saying she didn’t need help made recovery very sad and difficult.
A SMALL KINDNESS GOES A LONG WAY
On cue we will call, bring food and flowers and cards when someone is in need. These gestures are all wonderful and important. But also consider kindness can be expressed in simple words of understanding, offers to run errands, being genuine with your feelings and noticing the needs of a stranger. It’s the act of showing up that is important and remembered.
THE SUPPORT IS ALWAYS REMEMBERED
My sister died suddenly 25 years ago on November. 21st. It’s still a heartache despite being so long ago. Those who were there for me then are still important to me now. Her friends became a lifeline and are especially dear. Know that your kindness will always be appreciated and remembered. Don’t be afraid to reach out to anyone who needs support.
If this is something you would like to explore, please reach out.
