Giving your time and attention may not seem like a precious gift, until you step back and look at it closely. What really is more valuable? As we consider Valentines Day, or any special day or occasion, isn’t the attention and time with those we love what is most important?
This thought came from a quote by Tennessee Williams that Lee shared with me.
“But what I am trying to tell you–and myself–is that the great gift, the pearl of great price, is time. We seek all the other things, but those things only alter or identity time. What I’m saying is that all the other things we seek merely burnish or lighten time, the great gift, so I would suggest for us both, two hopeful people, that we seek to honor and to husband the time we have; that we offer what time we have to others, whose time is cloudy or limited; that we walk gently and honestly through the time we are allowed.”
–Tennessee Williams/Interview with James Grissom/1982/
Tennessee Williams highlights a great truth. I remember the day, in a former relationship, when we actually looked at each other and spoke our truth about what we wanted. The electrifying feeling it produced still stays with me. It was a profound moment that taught me what is most important – making real connection with one another through focused time and attention.
Here are some thoughts on this:
NOTICE WHERE YOU PUT YOUR QUALITY TIME
Do you receive notices on your phone that tell you how much screen time you are spending in a week? Mine was down 21% from last week and yet it is still way too much. It’s a frightening reminder of how much distraction fills our days.
Stop and recognize all the places that take your time. Some of it is needed and important, and likely much of it is a distraction and waste. Where would you like to be putting your lost and unaccounted attention?
NOTICE WHO RECEIVES YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION
We mostly focus on the what and where we put our time and attention, and less on the who. It’s the who that will make the difference and give us the most in return.
There are our children, who should come first, and yet often don’t at the height of one’s career. I’m sad to say that was true for me. And there is our partner and friends who I very intentionally focus on now, along with my clients. There are aging parents who need time and attention. Be clear on who you prioritize.
BE CLEAR ON THE CHOICE YOU HAVE WITH YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION
The point here is to be intentional with your choice of time and attention. Our moments together are precious and more fleeting the older we get. As with all intentions, when you clarify what is important, you begin to reclaim and prioritize where and with whom you put your time and attention. The idea suggested bu Tennessee Williams, to be gentle and honoring with one another should give you pause, as it did me.
This year Lee and I decided to make time to have fun together each week and to schedule dinners with small groups of friends. Because we are known for our big raucous parties, the later is particularly important. We want to connect and be closer to one another and get to know our friends on a deeper level. It requires time and attention. It is making a difference. I recommend it.
Consider the gift of time and attention you can give for a special occasion or as a choice for a way of life. Begin by looking at where you put your quality time, notice who receives your attention and be clear and intentional about the choices you have in all of this. It can change your life, as it has mine.
If you would like to explore this concept further, reach out. My Transformational Life Coaching and Therapy are designed to help you intentional about choices that benefit your life. Go to www.spectrumtransformation.com and use my free consultation link to reach me. I would love to hear from you.
