Not being true to yourself is a prevalent issue that brings people to my clinical practice. It’s something I’ve reconciled for myself and now have the life I’ve always wanted. Whether you are confused internally or creating a facade on the surface that doesn’t match what’s on the inside, the impact is felt across your life.
If you’re doing work you don’t like, in a relationship that is not right, not honoring your sexual identity, or living where you are not comfortable, there will be consequences.
Here are some thoughts on what happens when you’re not being true to yourself. See if you can relate.
NOTICE THE TENSION BETWEEN YOUR INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR SELF
There is often confusion on the inside when struggling with something not being “right”. Some people will stay in that confused place for decades out of fear of facing the change the truth may create. Others will lie to themselves and others to keep up a front that everything is fine. But you know the truth. And the truth creates a lot of tension and stress inside. I did that in a former relationship and in a work setting. It’s a terrible way to live. Notice how it expresses itself – irritability, bad attitude, bad behavior, lots of negativity.
RECOGNIZE YOUR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
It is not unusual for the ongoing tension to lead to depression and anxiety. Trouble sleeping, loss of pleasure, feeling down, irritable, not wanting to socialize, or waves of anxiety that make decision making and coping difficult. I had anxiety and worked hard to mask it, Now I know, all these can be symptoms of the lack of congruency.
CONNECT THE DOTS TO HEALTH ISSUES
In addition, your body will inevitably react to the ongoing stress from not honoring what is correct. You may mask it with alcohol, drugs, too much food, partying, workaholic or running behavior to avoid being honest with yourself and others. I threw myself into work and had headaches and stomach issues. Over time this can lead to chronic back pain, HBP, chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, all linked to the stress from not being true to yourself.
If this sounds like you, please reach out. I now live my best life; you can too!
