It Is A Paradox – Facing The Hardest Things In Life Bring The Greatest Reward


It Is A Paradox – Facing The Hardest Things In Life Bring The Greatest Reward

It is a great paradox that facing the hardest things in life often hold our greatest points of learning and growth. They are the very thing we avoid or try to hide from the most that when faced, create the most important life altering break throughs.

We are working with polarities here – the very hard thing you avoid has the potential of bringing you the gift you seek at the other end. Often, it’s the toughest issues we deal with, like resistance, fear, loss, wrongdoings, to name a few, that pose our greatest life challenges. See if this helps support why facing them can transform your life.


We all have our weaknesses, whether they are biological or self-imposed, they are often something that if we let go too far, will bring damaging consequences. Examples of this can be as simple as having a sweet tooth that causes weight gain or serious as having a physiological addiction to alcohol or drugs that lead to serious consequences.  It can include accepting that your negative self-concept is hiding your gifts or that your depression can be treated.

Accepting your truth, no matter the subject, is like opening the door to fresh air.  It gives you the ability to take yourself and your issues seriously enough to set limits, get help or finally decide to address the mindset that has held you back. The paradox is taking your weakness by the hand actually makes you stronger, more confident and free.


Resistance is often our biggest barrier to change. We assume the worst or convince ourselves of an important reason to not let go. I went through it with leaving my long-term career. I see others do it with relationship changes, moving, changing jobs, or seeing the doctor.

The reality and paradox, often not discovered until after the change has been forced upon you, is that letting go of resistance opens a new door. Once you accept the inevitable, face your own reality, you allow something new to come in that was blocked before. You are able to receive and move forward. Acceptance puts you in a place of ease, reducing the stress of resistance.


Most people have something that causes fear, the kind that creates a full body autonomic response with racing heart and anxiety. Common ones like fear of public speaking, taking financial risks, commitment, or fear of failure, often have to be faced if you want to meet your goals in life.

The paradox here is that once you have pushed yourself to do what creates fear, you discover you are stronger and braver than you think. Whether you work it out on your own or get support through therapy or coaching, you realize that a positive encouraging mind set and distress tolerance skills move you through the discomfort. The reward of accomplishment offsets the angst you feel. Facing fears has its own intrinsic reward, it defines strength of character and builds confidence.


One of life’s most difficult tasks is working through loss or dealing with being wronged in a significant way. Finding acceptance after the death of loved ones, divorce/breakup, or being treated unfairly takes time to work through the many layers of grief and anger. What is at the other end is a quiet strength known as grace.

The paradox – after all the painful emotion you have worked through, grace gives you compassion and patience with yourself and others. It deepens you, increasing your ability to understand, connect and empathize with others. You find a certain wisdom and peace on the other side.

Every difficult issue holds a paradox – the silver lining in the cloud that signals a victory of sorts, a freedom from previous bondage. The ones I mention here: accepting your weakness – makes you strong, letting go of resistance – allows you to accept and receive, facing fears – makes you brave, accepting loss/wrongdoing – gives you grace are a few examples. Each one requires a working through process that takes time, best aided with the support of therapy or coaching. Your happiness is a good reason to consider it.

If you would like to discover the beautiful paradox at the other end of a difficult issue – like the rainbow, or silver lining in a cloud, reach out. My Transformation Coaching and Therapy can help you create that kind of transformation. Go to and use my Free Consultation link. I’d love to hear from you.

*Photo by Diego PH on  





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