Being seen and heard sometimes means getting out of your own circle. Being on vacation was an interesting experience for us and our friends to be seen through new eyes. Isn’t there a saying – “nobody gets respect in their own town”? Well – sometimes it does help to get an outsider’s perspective.
I loved introducing my friends to new people and seeing how they were received. They are special, and others confirmed it. I loved seeing how others acknowledged Lee’s music as extraordinary. I loved hearing how relatives liked my blog. And I loved giving my uber-talented violinist nephew positive feedback. It makes a difference to be seen and heard.
I realized that being seen and heard is something we all want.
Here are some thoughts about this.
BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED IS A PROBLEM WITH CONSEQUENCES
So often people live in families or communities of friends or work that take you for granted. I am always saddened to hear how people’s gifts or their true spirit are misunderstood or taken for granted. I see the consequences of this. It causes struggles with insecurity, and identity issues that can have lasting effects that hold them back.
There is always someone else or somewhere else where you will truly be seen for who you are, and for what you have to offer. If you are not there now, move on – there are other places where you will be respected and feel like you belong. Don’t stay in a suffering situation.
BEING ACKNOWLEDGED HELPS US THRIVE
Being recognized for who and what you are is confirmation that spurs you on to further develop yourself. Without that acknowledgment, it can be a lonely struggle to come into your own. Not that you can’t make it, because sometimes that is what pushes people to make themselves stand out. But it can be a difficult path.
Give your loved ones and friends feedback – don’t hold back. It helps us be the best we can be when we are fully seen and acknowledged. Positive feedback spurs us all on. Go ahead and share your appreciation, you will be helping more than you know.
WE AREN’T MEANT TO LIVE IN A VACUUM
We are social beings, we are meant to be interdependent in our family, with friends, and within communities. But not all are healthy and supportive. I hear so much about toxic environments within families where people are criticized and diminished. I hear about toxic work environments where people are expected to work excessively, without appropriate appreciation and compensation. And there are friendship circles where harsh interactions become abusive.
We all have a choice and free will. Even though unsupportive environments can make it hard to have the confidence to leave, realize that you can find somewhere more supportive. You can make a new community of support and appreciation. I have done this myself. It makes a world of difference. You can move from feeling diminished, depressed, and upset to validated, appreciated, and thriving. Try it.
Noticing how outsiders can provide different and positive perspectives on who and what we are made me consider the importance of being seen and heard. It illustrated how dangerous it can be to stay in an environment where you are not seen or acknowledged positively. While being accurately appreciated makes us thrive. We are not meant to live in a vacuum – especially one like a black hole. Put yourself somewhere you are valued.
If this speaks to you and you would like help to be more seen and heard, reach out. My Transformational Coaching and Therapy focus on helping you find and put yourself in settings where you are respected. Go to www.spectrumtransformation.com and use my free Consultation link to reach me. I’d be honored to help.
